By Gustavo Milare
The well-known phrase “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is often cited as a symbol of resilience, optimism, and adaptability. First coined by American writer Elbert Hubbard in 1915, the saying encourages us to turn life’s challenges — the sour lemons — into something refreshing and rewarding. In many ways, this is precisely what mediators help parties do.
In the midst of conflict, people often arrive at mediation feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or rigid in their positions. The conflict may seem like an accumulation of lemons: sharp, bitter, and hard to swallow. But through dialogue, perspective-sharing, and guided negotiation, mediation transforms that bitterness into clarity, cooperation, and often even creativity. Like lemonade, the outcome of mediation is not always exactly what one expected — but it can be surprisingly sweet.
As mediators, our role is not to remove the lemons, but to help people see what can be done with them. We help extract the essence of each party’s concerns, add a little empathy, stir in shared interests, and — when possible — find that satisfying blend that makes progress possible. This process doesn’t ignore the sourness; it transforms it.
And speaking of transformation . . . Today, I’ll refrain from sharing a story from my mediation practice. Instead, I’ll give you a different kind of recipe — a literal one. Here’s how to make an authentic Brazilian caipirinha, a drink that takes the humble lime (close cousin of the lemon) and turns it into a celebration in a glass.
Authentic Brazilian Caipirinha Recipe
Ingredients
- 1 lime (cut into 4 wedges)
- 2 teaspoons granulated sugar (8–10 grams of sugar)
- 2 ounces (60 ml) cachaça (Brazilian sugarcane spirit)
- Ice cubes
Instructions
- Peel the lime to remove the outer green skin, which can contribute bitterness.
- Cut the peeled lime into four wedges, lengthwise (from top to bottom).
- Remove the white core (the pith) from the center of the lime. After cutting the lime into quarters, this white part will now be on one edge of each piece. Removing it helps reduce bitterness and enhances the smoothness of the drink.
- Place the lime wedges in a sturdy glass.
- Sprinkle the sugar over the lime.
- Gently muddle the lime and sugar together to extract the juice — just enough to blend the flavors.
- Fill the glass with ice cubes.
- Pour the cachaça over the ice.
- Shake well and serve immediately.
Optional garnish: a slice of lime on the rim.
So the next time life hands you limes — or lemons — remember that transformation is always possible. Whether at the mediation table or at your next gathering, it’s all about what you choose to do with what you’re given. Cheers! Or as we say in Brazil, Saúde!
Best,
Gustavo Milare